You are not in your life

Most people think they are living their lives.

They are not.

They are thinking about what comes next.
Replaying what already happened.
Managing how they are coming across.

They are everywhere except where they are.

I see it in myself.

I can be sitting with someone I care about
and part of me is already somewhere else.

What do I need to do next
How long is this going to take

I am there
but I am not really there

That is why it feels off

Not because something is wrong
but because I am not here

And then something shifts

Nothing dramatic

I just come back

I feel my body
I see what is in front of me
I am actually with the person I am with

And everything feels different

Not because my life changed
but because I did

Most people try to fix this by changing what they do

Say the right thing
Set a boundary
Act better

But by the time you try to change your behavior
you are already inside a pattern that feels like reality

Because you do not just think your way into it

You see through it
You feel through it

It was formed before you had language
when you did not separate what happened
from who you are

So now it is not
I feel like I do not belong

It is
I am someone who does not belong

And from there everything looks like confirmation

The shift is not in fixing yourself

It is in seeing the moment you leave
and coming back

Because when you are actually here

life does not feel confusing

It feels real